Hypothesis: I am dating Alex P. Keaton

(The Keaton Theory has disproved the Bueller Theory, popularly accepted by the scientific community since September 2005...

experiment: kumquat

[TO BE READ IN DAVID ALAN GRIER'S "MAYA ANGELOU"*]what a curious citric creature is the kumquat!the shape, the swell and weightof the skin.the undulatory sweets and stings as it's juicedover tongue.sourer than the grapefruit.sweeter than the lemon.tearing at the enamel, straining to beswallowed. brisk. taste well made for a marmelade.sized like an old-fashioned bulletin your hand, just begging to rainover the heads of your siblings.ah, kumquat! tart mercies unpeeled,pulps ill concealed in the crook of yourtwo front teeth.what i have learned:- they are pretty fantastic.- there's a lime/kumquat hybrid called the limequat! i paid decent attention in hs bio but i don't remember...

experiment: skort

I tried one on today at Savers.what I have learned:I'm no Blossom, but I think I looked pretty ho...

experiment: guns

I shot some guns last week, during what is now in the running for Most Disturbing Ward Activity*. (Hey everybody, let's eat Costco cakemuffins and rub up against each other while we "learn" how to shoot semi-automatic weapons with almost zero instruction or safety precaution! You should come! Especially if you freelance and don't have health insurance! It'll be a "blast!")You're here? I didn't peg you a gun personwas kind of the consensus as I made the rounds, surveying the 5 or so "shooting stations" (card tables and overturned coolers topped with guns of all shapes and sizes, laid to rest over both personal (yikes) and beach towels).Yet they were right. I wasn't really...