Almost Paradise

(I think it's actually not a song about Footloose, but Disneyland.)

Holiday Gift Guide: No 4 - Condescending Book Club Guy

1. James Joyce for Dummies He knows he hasn't really read Ulysses. You know he hasn't really read Ulysses. He knows you know he hasn't really read Ulysses. Nothing says "stop talking" like giving the failed novelist this handy reference book.  2. Nicholas Sparks Box Set Wrap this up with some sunscreen and a card that says "Beach reading!" 3. So Long, Insecurity Self-explanatory.

Holiday Gift Guide: No. 3 Sports Boss

1. BalletBoys Tickets - What a champ your boss is, huh? A guy who is always talking to you about "The Game" and who seems to really get a kick out of sweaty groups of men bumping up against each other in the name of sport. Well now you can give him the gift of his dreams - BalletBoy tickets! After all, who displays more outright athleticism than this all-male ballet troupe? 2. Ladies in Lavender Criterion Collection Fantasy Football is obviously just a front for your boss to spend so many work hours glued to his monitor watching his two favorite actors Dames Judi Dench and Maggie Smith in the lovely and moving tale of spinsters in a small Cornish village in the early 20th century. 3. Peyton Manning's half-eaten Taco Bell Beefy Crunch Burrito Now available on ebay. GET IN THE GAME!