Regrets of 1992

2010 was a pretty even-keeled year. I doubt there would be much drama in a 2010 recap. You know what year was full of misfortune and regret? 1992.

SPRING - 8 years old. On the walk home from school, pair of bully boys start teasing my older sister. Throw rocks at them. Called one an "asshole." Ran home with sister and made teary confession to Mom that I said "the A-word." Eat some homemade bread.

SPRING - 8 years old. School is over, chilled Midwestern March. Rainstorm. My ride has not arrived. Wait underneath awning outside school for an hour. Finally walk home. Soaking upon arrival, locked out. Sit in a lawn chair outside house for an hour in the rain, shivering. Play it tough. Like I want to sit in the rain. Mom arrives home, feels terrible. Warm up in the bath, Mom fixes bean burrito.

SUMMER - 8 years old. Summon courage, finally dive off high-dive at public pool in Geneva. Over-rotate and land on my back.

FALL - 8 years old. Fawn over Michael Pentek all year, even though as an adult I will find him kind of funny-looking. Draw hearts over his 2nd-grade yearbook picture, write "mea mora" in red pen (thinking my secret will remain safe from my non Spanish-speaking sisters). Square dance with him in gym class. Act relatively uninterested with him during gym, though I have carefully selected outfits on gym days for his benefit. Never tell him I write songs about him at home. Never, ever talk to him. Regret this decision for more than a few years.

FALL - 9 years old. Mrs. Keen promises 3rd grade class cookies to accommodate Geology units - Igneous (angel crisps), Sedimentary (brownie bars) Metamorphic (who knows). Keen never delivers on Metamorphic cookies. Remember this broken promise till this day. Harbor vendetta against all elementary teachers.

WINTER - 9 years old. Ask for a "poet's blouse" for Christmas. Also ask for Marvin the Martian stickers. Receive both. Wear poet's blouse weekly. Write a lot of poetry, mostly woeful stuff about Michael Pentek.

Happy 1992 Everyone!