experiment: i must be in La Jolla!

last night i dreamt i was in a bunker in Nazi Germany! (Underneath the Stage of the Nelke in the HFAC). hiding out with my Co-Conspirator! (Unidentified Male Friend). i was tucked, clandestinely (or so i thought) into a pullout drawer, containing a casket. (yeah, never actually seen anything like that underneath the Nelke, although We once used some yarn to hang an infant doll from a pipe). i was discovered by a German who looked like the man who spares Adrien Brody’s life at the end of The Pianist (name coincidence!). rather than requesting a recital, the German started talking to me about books. After we conversed about a few of his favorite novels (which i guess i had read and knew fairly well, enough that i could deliver some mildly officious rant) he handed over his knife to me "for protection", having decided, on the merit of my literacy alone?, to let me live. books will SAVE YOUR LIFE! this is interesting to me only insomuch as it comes at the same time when i have just decided upon my newest experiment! reading! solely for fun and learning. not even for the bookit personal pan pizza.

50 books in 2007.

as was judiciously pointed out, this late in the game i’m going to have to average a little more than one a week. doable. so what counts here? non-fiction, poetry, scripture, screenplays, novellas, a little manga perhaps? i have a lot of classics i’ve been meaning to read, and i don’t want to get desperate late in the game and just pick up some R.L Stine, knowing i can knock it out in an hour. Welcome to Dead House comes to mind. i wonder where all those others in teh series are. . . . probably in cahoots with my troll dolls. the only one i’ve found is the one playing the violin in a tux, and although he ardently pounds out some impressive arpeggios, (espeically considering the length/girth ratio of his fingers--please refrain from making a joke here--) is a little dull and certainly not as fun as the one who I dressed as aladdin and sent down 79th on a skateboard. true.

this guy was the first. . .
(finished saturday)

which was pretty great. engaging. saunders writes sort of like lewis carroll meets carrol channing meets joe klein meets calvin klein meets outdated and scratchy denim modeled by hillbilly bodybuilders wearing shirts that say “SPECIAL FRIEND”. meets me. hello. nice to meet you.

got pastoralia as well, also by saunders. if he is as imaginative in this as he was in phil, then i’m set. then i have a few i've started and never finished—rise of the creative class, the lost girl, walking on water, life is elsewhere, anna karenina. then i’ll swing the way of the czechs and do the unread kundera, the irving catalogue, some saul bellow (checked out henderson the rain king), frank o'hara, of human bondage, and then just about everyone i know has recommended that i read history of love, but i feel like i’m going to be stubborn and this will be another harry potter or da vinci code situation where i refuse to read it simply because everyone else is. i know i’m being stubborn and stupid but at least i can own up to that. or maybe i'll just borrow it from corinne or something.

so, for this Read-A-Thon, as it were, i will also be accepting sponsorship. like a dime a book or whatever you want to give. once you have pledged a certain amount, you can pick some adrienne real estate and i will advertise YOU. but hurry, the leg-front properties are going fast! (<--someone should hire me, just for that, seriously. or hit me really really hard in the face). put my college education to use! you can choose how you want your sponsorship to be displayed. maybe you want to brand your initials on the inside of my wrist ala skull and bones. or have me wear a shirt with your likeness. i could wear a mask of your shining happy face. my body, and wardrobe, are the limits! let's nascar it up!

sponsor and aquaphile jared w cardon opted for this upper back tattoo

ALSO. in addition to your financial support, suggestions for books will be graciously accepted. i am currently booked (get it, huh huh) until march. but post-march, the future is great and wide open tom petty.

what I have learned:
it’s not so much about me here as it is what we can learn together. dan neises might call this “synchronicity,” and you know what, i think he’s on to something. READ FOR AMERICA.


casey elizabeth said...

i believe it was sting who came up with "synchronicity." i may be wrong. books, books, books...read something by my great uncle...he was a great thinker in the anglican church in the 70's...Urban Tigner Holmes III

Yancy said...

I'll let you know if anything strikes me as an amazing read from my Creative Writing class.
But while I'm typing I'll put a plug in for The History of Love (recent favorite) as well as for Watership Down (one of my older favorites).
I've been meaning to read The Secret Life of Bees. I heard it was good, but haven't gotten around to it. Not much "recreational reading" going on in my life as it were...you could probobly pound that one down relatively quickly...from what I remember, it didn't seem too lengthy.

Hanner said...

How come neither of these comments have to do with mer-Jared? oh MAN!

adrienne said...

seriously. i didn't spend a precious hour of my unemployed time creating that photoshop masterpiece for nothing.

Anonymous said...

I SERIOUSLY recommend the entire Tobias Wolff collection. Starting with "Old School" and then doing his 3-4 short story collections and finishing up with his most-acclaimed "This Boy's Life."

Amazing, all of it. A new favorite.


Anonymous said...

If you haven't read "The Yellow Wallpaper" by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, you have to.