experiment: consumer reporting

***UPDATE***
whoa. I have just been informed of something kind of shocking and hilarious, thanks to my epidemiologist friend Dan, who says

"I question the wisdom of naming a cafe after an abortion-inducing poison."

It's true. Yikes. Poor choice, friends.

**************

pennyroyal café.

I have no intent to slander, but you will not survive unless your service gets 100% better. meaning, don’t make out with and fondle fellow employees during serving hours, and don’t let patrons stand awkwardly in the front of the restaurant, unsure of what do to or whom to speak to.

also, figure out how to use the generous space you’ve rented. it looks hollow.

on a positive note, your apple and brie 'wich was good.

with faith and good will,

-adrienne


what I have learned:

I could manage a restaurant rather well, but it’s something that would give me little long term satisfaction.

I am very grateful to be long gone from the food service industry.

Style without substance is ultimately useless.

experimental (arts): 2008

According to the Chinese, 2008 was the Year of the Rat. To me, it felt like the Year of the Owl because it was the year I mastered flight. Also, I learned a ton.

If you think owls carry an unfair stereotype as being the smartypants of the animal kingdom, just listen to this: the day we dissected owl pellets in high school bio, what did I find to my astonishment and delight but traces of Mensa puzzles, Economist articles, muddied möbius bands, and a bit of Stuart Little's mangled right paw? I say they have earned their bragging rights as scholars and gentlemen.

And this was my year to follow in the flightpath of that old, grizzled Chinese Owl, learning all sorts of things like how to like, love, talk to/like adults, SEO, deal with credit cards companies, 401Ks, sew (sort of), cook (sort of), start a business, use the phrase "gild the lily" appropriately, get fat and happy and self-actualized and all that. On the other hand, my media consumption suffered considerably. Is this just what happens as you get older?

MUSIC

BEST
Finding the Beatles Christmas Records from '64-'69 in mp3 format! I had never heard these before. Best unexpected Christmas gift, hands down. Cribble Mismas to me.

RUNNER UPPERS
I didn't listen to music very much this year but I did give these due consideration:

Jelly Roll Morton - Mister Jelly Lord
Fennesz - Black Sea
Department of Eagles - In Ear Park
Beck - Modern Guilt
Fleet Foxes
Mason Proper
Ivana XL

Instead, I mostly just listened to lots of old standards -(Pulp, Bob Dylan, Eno, Uncle Tupelo, Karl Blau, Songs Ohia, blah) and newbie Taylor Swift (who saw this one coming?).
This was my favorite song in '08.
I was also turned on to Awesome Tapes From Africa and that was a particularly pleasant find.

LET DOWNS
Scott Walker - The Drift. Um, terrifying. I also give a big fat "meh" to Vampire Weekend.

CONCERT

How is it possible that I didn't even go to one show this year?
(Or did I? Apparently if I did it wasn't so memorable.)

BOOK

BEST
The Road. Simple but packs a punch.

RUNNERS UP
The Sacred and Profane Love Machine
Welcome to the Monkey House
No Country For Old Men
Calvin and Hobbes (various)
Jesus the Christ (still working my way through it but I feel confident enough)

LET DOWNS
Guy Davenport. I really, really like most of the challenging, layered stories in The Death of Picasso, but its glorified and graphic pedophilic themes make me (ME!) uncomfortable. Also, it's a little too smug in its "experimental fiction"-ness for me.

TELEVISION

BEST
Flight of the Conchords. (Dedicated to you, '08 Owl).

RUNNERS UP
Are You Being Served?
My So Called Life
any 30 Rock scenes that include Tracy Morgan

LET DOWNS
ummmm. . . nearly getting addicted to The Hills, online, somehow.

FILM

BEST
Wall-E and Paris, Texas (tie)

RUNNERS UP
Getting to see a film print of 2001: A Space Odyssey. Dave lightspeeding through the supernova is insanely awesome on a big screen.

Rachel Getting Married
Mister Lonely
Green Porno
Scenes From a Marriage
Milky Way Liberation Front
Let the Right One In
My Winnapeg
Reprise
Husbands and Wives
Kramer vs Kramer
Synecdoche, New York and Kung Fu Panda (read my thoughts on these last two).

LET DOWNS
Vicky, Christy, Barcelona
The Idiots
The Dark Knight
Nick and Norah's Ultimate Snoozefest
Theater of War
Gates of Heaven
Slumdog Millionaire

WEIRD AWARD
3 Women. Whaaaaaa?

FOOD

BEST
Pantrucas, hiding out in a stripmall a little north of the Provo Temple, makes the best sandwich ever - the Churasco Palta. The owner is also fascinating.

RUNNERS UP

Kitchenette Omelette, but made in my own kitchen for ten dollars less.
Whole Foods' goat cheese spinach salad with blueberries and soy nuts, made in my kitchen for 4 dollars more.
Hatch Family Chocolate's Dark Chocolate Caramel Krispy.
La Esquina.
India Palace.
Avocados.
English muffins.
Cheese (assorted).

LET DOWNS
Gandolfos - what has happened to you, downtown location? You used to make the best West Side Story and now it's just a soggy, sad mess.

Gurus- when did all your entrees get so bland? If it weren't for your sweet potato fries I don't think I'd even visit you at all anymore.

Dinosaur BBQ. Please, I'm from KC, you're gonna have to do better than that.

Colby Jack. And you call yourself cheese.

THINGS

BEST






















RUNNERS UP
sitting around and making up absurd music with jared
sitting around and making up absurd dances with jared
sitting around with jared
concepting and writing my first real website
morningside heights dance parties
hunter's drum stool
dusting off my copa mundials after 5 years of shelf sitting
starting phylum kingdom
getting netflix. duh.
hieing to kolob - >















corinne and ted getting engaged!
testimony. line upon line, precept upon precept.
my entire family getting together at thanksgiving.
leaving new york to start a creative writing program and then dropping out of the mfa


LET DOWNS
leaving new york to start a creative writing program and then dropping out of the mfa
my entire family getting together for thanksgiving and all getting the same awful illness.
the election. what an annoying time that was.


What I have learned:
I am very interested in science and nature, though still rotten at that Trivial Pursuit category
I am very blessed.
Provo is a cool town.
Things that smell like cinnamon are irresistible to me.
I would make an excellent contender on American Gladiators because
I AM INVINCIBLE!


Watch out 2009, you old Ox. You are mine.

experiment: jewelry design

"The Indo-European root of the word 'art' is 'to arrange' or 'fit together, join.' In this light, art can be pared down to its most simplistic form. We begin by collecting, then playing with the materials or objects, organizing them in a variety of ways, making new combinations, trying things, then observing the arrangements we have made." -Ker Smith



Most jewelry doesn't really enthuse me. So I thought I'd try my hand at making some that does. After all, if all art is is collecting and arranging and rearranging the arrangements, who says I can't clew my talents, throw the output at the wall and see what sticks. This wall turns out, is the interweb.

Here it is in stage one of production, the conceptually driven


PHYLUM KINGDOM

See the entire collection here. Just in time for Christmas, might make some cool gifts for the females in your life, or for yourself? Just sayin.

what i have learned:

1- Collaboration is key. And it's really convenient to have talented and beautiful friends. Thanks to Christina, Becca, Hunter, Jared for their conceptual feedback, Emily for some stellar modeling, and Lucy and Megan for their time and talents and lovely images.

All studio shots by Lucy Call (801.647.0758) , all museum shots by Megan Stay. Both are highly recommended.

2- Getting started is pricey.

3 - I am really quite fascinated by bugs and entomology displays. And the Linnaean system, which is why each piece (or "specimen") comes with its own unique Linnaean classification identification, so you can know the genus and species of the item you wear.

4 - I have creative ADD. I wanted to abandon this project like 387 times and start up a variety of other projects and hobbies including being a glass blower's apprentice (for real). Where is my creative ritalin already?

experiment: ebay

after i bought $2000 bucks worth of jcrew wares for $200 at that discount sale / college reunion, i decided to unleash my entreprenurial spirit on the internet world. lord knows my boyfriend and i only need so much cashmere in our wardrobe before we turn into this.


so i did what like-minded americans have been doing for over a decade: decided to try this thing called ebay. i've never bought or sold anything off ebay before, but the interface was pretty intuitive and within an hour i had created a profile and listed the following four items - brand new italian cashmeres and lambswools - in total retailing about $400.



and to my delight, it worked! people wanted all but this yellow, Mondrian-esque one. C'mon! that's hands down the coolest! I was sad to see it go up online to begin with, but Jared is built more european than american and wasn't pleased with the fit. Does anyone want to buy this off me for a very reasonable rate? It's a men's medium and could make a great holiday gift, or half of a Bert and Ernie costume.


what i have learned:

- start the bidding low.
no one will initially bid on a 82 dollar cashmere sweater. start it at $48 and let it work its way up to $82.

- get a hot model.
most everything (at least in the men's section) was just laid out on carpeting in poor lighting. it's better to see how it looks on.

- offer free shipping. (up the price to compensate).
that holy orange dot just might seal the deal.

- who doesn't love a good sweater vest?

experiment: femalery

1)
i'm generally not obsessed with my appearance.

unbelievable, i know. i still remember about 5 years ago the moment i made the decision to ditch the concert tshirts and jeans and tie dye and neon adidas sneakers (okay, so i still have these last ones) and start dressing more like a Girl. i wasn't like Paula Poundstoning it or anything, but I wasn't very femme. and you can only be told you resemble a "street urchin," "bag lady," and "war refugee" by your relatives so many times before it shames you into making a drastic change. plus no one wanted to date me.

2)
i am kind of obsessed with eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. i have been since my first viewing, back in 2004. not only is it somewhat of an intellectual throwdown, it's also emotionally resonant, and i probably cry each time i watch it. weep and weep and feel nostalgic (for no one in particular).

anyway, i was watching it recently and was thinking about kirstin dunst's hair. she pulled off this Swiss Miss coiffure in a really rocking way. i've wanted to try this girly (girl-ish?) updo, but my hair's never quite been long enough since i chopped it all off four years ago. but the other day, it was just long enough to hack it. so i made it up as i went along, with no instructions or help, just about two elastics and 60 pins. so what do you think? will this finally seal my acceptance into Girl Community?


who wears it best:

me?



kd?




or challah?



what i have learned:

nothing. absolutely nothing.